Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
