She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
