Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
