I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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