Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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