You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just want nice things and good sex
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
