just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
