And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
a search helicopter?!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
