you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
