you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
