so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
