He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
