It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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