My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
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the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bang-toberfest begins!!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
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I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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