It's like God shit irony all over that family
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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