yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
