actually, I'm a sock model
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
