you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
FUCK WHALES
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