No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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