dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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