Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
