I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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