HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
