Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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