There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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