i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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I agree and I would be an awesome dog
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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