i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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