my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
this hospital has no fireball
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
