I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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