Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
