maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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