just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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