Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wish there were birth control emojis
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
