I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
barbara walters just said penis...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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