put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
