Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
