anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
