And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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