Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize