Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
