Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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