im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
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This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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