mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize