can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
