it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
