Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
