$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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