I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
