the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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