theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
