question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
