So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize