Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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