It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
