To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
