I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
