what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
