Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
why do cheetos always look like penises
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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