It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
