Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
