yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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