you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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