I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
