they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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