Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
