Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
