Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize