Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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